I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
