I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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