I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
