he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize
