Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
