pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
