chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
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