Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
