i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
