He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
