i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
another moral hangover. fuck.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
