That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
