I want to have your abortion
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
