Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Randomize
