either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
