look no pants
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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