So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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