Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
