Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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