Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
