I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
The uberlube is also flammable
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
