roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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