My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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