The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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