I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
