im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
His hands were made for my vagina.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
