Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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