i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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