If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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