thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
