I'm gonna have a badass scar
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
