white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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