Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
