I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Randomize
