One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
My vagina just recognized that song.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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