i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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