I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
