i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
