Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
