I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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