i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
