Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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