oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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