I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
