Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
