I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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