I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
