I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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