She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
