I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
