No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
